Thursday, July 29, 2010

Refining our definition

Four years ago today I got to marry someone amazing!

Around this time I start thinking back over the past years and what has changed. I think that this is the great thing about celebrating events from the past: it causes you to think back and reflect, which can be a hard thing to do regularly.
Last night we joked that 4 years didn't feel like long and at the same time it has felt like 80 years! We have learned so much, we have grown immensely in who we are, in our views on family, love, ourselves, priorities and God. We are not who we were 6 months ago, 2 years ago or 5 years ago when we met. We have learned to change and grow together, to work through the hard times and love our differences.
At our wedding one of the pastors quoted John Piper saying, "Marriage exists to magnify the truth and worth and beauty and greatness of God." So many of us define marriage as something to make us happy, or the next level in life, or they think they deserve it because they love a person. When we believe that marriage is all about us we are sadly mistaken. This has been very challenging to me lately. Marriage is amazing and it does make me happy, my husband makes me happy but that is not his purpose in our marriage. It is also not mine. We will fail every time if we believe that happiness is the end result.
Sometimes the hard moments are the best part because through those you learn more about yourself, each other, how to communicate and how to love. If happiness was the priority you would avoid the difficult conversations and you would never grow.
I am so thankful for the growth over these 4 years of marriage. For understanding love and sacrifice better, for knowing myself and my husband more, for the freedom to grow individually and together and workout the identity of our marriage.

I hope that as you continue in your marriage or look ahead to a future one that you make an effort to define what it should be and you continue to refine that definition regularly!

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