Truth for the Trenches

             I have been there…that place where you say ‘yes’ to everything because you are trying to just survive. You are trying to just survive through breakfast, just survive until naptime, just survive until daddy gets home. I have been there, in that place where staying home all day with kids felt impossible, insurmountable. It felt so hard you couldn’t get out of bed or you did, but you never took off your pajamas. I have been in survivable mode where we turned on a show after each hour because it was a celebration of them eating breakfast, me sweeping one floor or I just needed to nurse the baby without the two-year-old eating the dog food. I didn’t say “no” other than in response to “Can I run through the parking lot?”             I tried to say “no.” I said “maybe”, I said “not right now”, I said, “I will think about it”. But, those answers were never clear and they just produc...

When I call my kids names I am met with silence. My voice no longer makes their ears turn on, in fact it might do the complete opposite! They don’t hear me over the TV show or playing or reading books. My voice has lost some power. Their lack of response makes me unsure if my directions are going to be followed. Often, they leave the room so I have a false sense of certainty that they are following directions. When they return thirty seconds later it becomes obvious they heard the noise of my voice but not the words. It’s time to take the power back! We need to get their attention before we start giving them tasks. We need to allow them to stop what they are doing so they can listen. Kids don’t multitask, they cannot think or play and take in extra information. Parents cannot remain patient and kind when completely ignored. I am always surprised when visiting my kids classrooms at how the teachers keep things quiet and calm. How they aren’t yelling over the volume of t...

The alarm dings at 5:30 a.m. in our house. It is quiet. I don’t have to rush out the door to an office. The kids are sleeping. No one is pulling on me yet. I am able to think about the day, listen to God, exercise, throw in laundry or take a shower uninterrupted. The kids slowly come running in or dragging blankets down the stairs and the day has begun but, I still have control. The day is only about my family so far. Breakfast, books, coffee, switching that aforementioned load of laundry. I don’t mind my family’s noise, the mess (usually), the needs, the wants. But, when my phone starts ringing and beeping; when there are messages to return; outside people’s expectations to meet; appointments to get to on time I start to feel the stress rising. My kids all of suddenly are now in the way. This is the opposite of how I want to see them. It is not the demands on my family within the walls of my house that I can’t handle (well, on good days). It is the outside requirements ...