Be Your Own Cheerleader!

I couldn't make a breakfast that they liked. I had to put the Nerf guns on the highest garage shelf because I caught my 9 year old climbing out a window to go play when he had been told to brush his teeth. That simple task always gets a response of arguing and complaining. What I hear from my kids' reactions is "I am the worst mom ever for making them eat breakfast, brush their teeth, take periodic showers, and stop waking the neighbors up by bouncing basketballs at 6 a.m." It is easy for me to believe their opinions are true. In those moments I can't laugh. Their discontent towards me by not reading their minds and meeting all their expectations has me convinced I am terrible at this mom role. With very little time for self-reflection it is easy to believe the external voices that speak more loudly than our own internal voice.

A friend and I compared our grocery budgets and how many meals we cook a day. I left the conversation feeling as if I was missing out and unwillingly forced to cook more than I should. The reality was that my husband and I had made a choice to eat out less than my friend's family. I had felt I deserved to eat out as often as she did and forgot my reality. The truth that my husband cooks more than hers does vanished from my mind when the emotions of jealousy and bitterness crept in.

When I compare myself to others I forget the truth and the beauty of who I am; I make life black and white and my choices right or wrong. My emotions throw me into an ever-changing ocean and make my days lose direction and purpose. When I listen to my kids whining I am quickly convinced that I am not enough. When I compare myself to friends it is easy to wallow in my constraints instead of celebrating with them. 

Feeling inadequate is a thought pattern brought on by external circumstances. Those situations can easily affirm fears and unmet desires if I am not remembering who I am and what my purpose is for our family. My husband's support does not always pull me out of the trench of self-pity. I have to be an active participant, knowing who I am and making choices that I can confidently claim so when outside voices and internal emotions try to take the wheel from me I can take it back. I have to be my own cheerleader!

I will snuggle and read books for hours but I won't let you watch screens all day. I will paint your                fingers and toes all different colors in your version of a rainbow. I will let you and your friends dig up        my yard and cover yourselves in mud. I will be a human canvas and let you draw on me in sidewalk        chalk. I will accidently lick Orajel off my fingers and suffer the numb mouth with you. I will not sleep in your bed all night long but, you can cuddle in mine all morning! I do not buy everything organic but I care deeply about how much sugar you eat, what color veggies are on your plate, and how many crackers make up your snack. I may not bake bread from scratch, or have chickens running around our backyard but we can plant jalepenos in the window boxes and water flower beds together. I am not a runner but I will chase you around the park until we can't stop laughing. I love you deeply and though I am not EVERYTHING you want me to be I am what you need. Sometimes I mess up, please give me hugs anyways because I need you too!

There are so many wonderful things about me that I forget because I focus on the things I am not. I need other women around me not to compare myself to and strive to imitate but to encourage, motivate and remind me pajama days are normal! I need them to cheer loudly for me when my kid is throwing a tantrum and I don't lose my temper. I need them to see my invitation as hospitality despite my sink full of dishes. I need them to see my unwashed hair as proof of a busy day taking care of my family. I do bring life and joy and rest and strength to my household. If I see that, then I can ignore the lies!

I'm not the homemaker who puts the toothbrush holders through the dishwasher. I don't wash the curtains annually. Only sometimes do I wipe down my white kitchen cabinets. But, I am the mom who slides down the slip n' slide with them. I am the mom who says I love you a million times a day. I am the mom who takes slobbery, snotty kisses because, after all, they are still kisses! I am not the mom who wears heels to the grocery, but I am the mom who takes two walks a day and plays chase in the backyard. I am not the mom who showers every day but I am the mom who runs through the sprinkler in her clothes.

You are the mom who does all those things too; learn to cheer for yourself, I'm cheering for you!