Truth for the Trenches

My kids are in the phase of name calling. Some of them think it’s funny…sometimes. Some of them laugh when they call their brother a name but retort with “you’re going bananas” and now they are mad. The names can be hurtful (to a three-year-old) like “you a mean baby” or completely ridiculous like “poopy face” (because no one in this house is walking around with poop on their face!). They all come to me whining and depending on the situation and child’s age my words are different. But, to my six-year-old this morning I quietly said “you know that what he is calling you is not true. You know that name is not what you are or who you are so don’t listen to him.” You might not be around kids often but there are still names and definitions and assumptions being said about you and to you. Do you listen to them? There is a battle being waged in our minds. What to believe, what to listen to, what to ignore, what is right, what is wrong, when to say yes, when to say no, who to i...

The kids are whining. Your car broke down. You are late. Your boss needs you to re-do the report. The dinner burned.  We hear:  “You are a bad mom.” “You don’t deserve a nice car.” “You are always late.” “You can’t do anything right at this job.” “Your husband will be disappointed again.” We stop fighting. We let the broken car, the obstinate kids and the dishes in the sink win. We give them power they were never meant to have. Power to ruin our day and power to define us.  Three years ago I yelled at my kids constantly. I could tell you that it wasn’t the correct response in a situation. I was drowning and didn’t see the life boat floating right next to me.  The kids didn’t listen. When they ignored me, disobeyed or yelled at me I heard… “They don’t care what you say” “It doesn’t matter if you discipline them” “It doesn’t matter what you do” “You will never make them happy” “They don’t love you” We put on our own...