Truth for the Trenches

My three-year-old is laying on his floor crying “I am not happy”. All I have to say is, “me either, kid, me either”. When I put him down for a nap he said “don’t leave me alone. When you go bye-bye it make my heart feel broken”. I don’t know where he learned that but I know that for years I have made mothering about making my kids happy, loved, and trying to give them everything they want. I had the intention of doing all of this because I wanted to care for them well, because I wanted them to know beyond the shadow of a doubt that they were loved. But, I wasn’t showing them love. I was making myself comfortable, I was surviving the night feedings, the newborn baby stage, the terrible-twos that move into terrible-threes. I was surviving feeling alone, being screamed at by kids, always having a bathroom companion. Everything felt difficult: sleeping, making breakfast, getting people out the door, getting people back in the door, making dinner. All the normal, everyday life sit...

We are those parents who don't throw birthday parties and don't give our own kids Christmas gifts...(gasp, scream, shock, horror). I know, you probably think we are awful. I actually thought my husband was awful when he said this was the way he wanted to do it. But, I love it now! Don't be fooled, our kids get lots of gifts on their birthday, holidays and we celebrate their birthday with lots of fun! But, we also want them to be given gifts on days just because... ...it is Tuesday ...we love them ...we knew they would like it ...they lost a first tooth ...they were brave ...we wanted to  We want giving gifts to come from a heart of love and giving to others. I know this is the heart our family gives to them out of and it isn't forced. We are using gifts as a very obvious lesson to them that they don't deserve or get things just because it is a birthday or Christmas. Jesus didn't come because we earned His love, He didn't come because we were goo...

When our oldest was a few months shy of four we had yet to find much (other than books) that held his attention, that engaged him longer than 2 minutes and inspired him to focus. He was always busy, deconstructing things (or tearing them apart whichever way you see it), wanting to be involved in all tasks and curious. He showed he was detail oriented but I somehow still had to tell him basic rules repeatedly. LEGO changed all that. As our second and third child have grown they have come to love LEGO too. I have found that it tends to be a toy mom's either love or hate, here is why we LOVE LEGO!!! 11.  It gave him independence he had not been allowed to have because he tore everything in the house apart. His new creations gave him an understanding of how mommy and daddy felt about our stuff. He didn’t want his new fire trucks and airplanes broken apart. It gave us a language to speak to explain to him that he had to be responsible and careful with things. 22.  ...

I am on Her View From Home today laying it all out there to confess I am not a superhero and hopefully encourage you in the process! You are not alone and you do not have to prove to anyone that you are efficient, capable or patient at every exhausting moment of the day.

Confessing my struggle and confusion about how God says children are gifts and the beauty He showed me at Follow the Dyers  today! Hope it is encouraging to you in this season of motherhood.

Routines and rhythms helps us develop an understanding of work and play and rest. Too often they include all work, all tasks, all commitments to people and very little real rest. With kids this is a hard concept, what does rest with kids look like? As a stay at home mom with very little time alone I really fight for this. I would still like more play and rest alone or with my husband but I want to experience this with my children and as a family too! Don't you? We have created a routine to our week to enforce habits of rest and play. Making it a habit allows me to more easily turn off my to-do list, knowing that there is time to accomplish the dishes, laundry, grocery, school, writing, cleaning...ahhh! When I can't turn off that list I cannot rest, I do not play with my children and they notice the difference as much as I do. So I made Tuesdays our quiet days! For us that means no plans, no people, and no necessity of changing out of pajamas! We still do school and I mo...

I'm on Her View From Home today  encouraging myself and you that don't have to pretend today, you can ask for help, accept grace in your failures and cry in your kitchen if you need to!