Free Forgiveness
We desire forgiveness, we desire to be known, to be loved
for who we are. To have the freedom to eat ice cream in our swim suits with our
wide thighs and bellies and a huge smile and not be judged. We long to
have the acceptance of inviting someone over for dinner and it be leftovers. We
want people that we can call on the phone sobbing hysterically and their response
be, “I’m on my way over”. But, we hide. We strive for perfection and efficiency.
We cry in our pillows silently. We clean the house before guests arrive not in
an effort to show hospitality but to reveal: how great a housekeeper we are,
how efficiently we can care for our children, tidy our home and cook a great
meal all at once. We put on masks that protect us from revealing our weakness.
We change who we are around different people because we long to be worthy,
approved of, loved and accepted.
When we don’t reveal our shortcomings, when we
hide our weakness, and cover up our failures we keep ourselves from feeling
true love. We lie to the outside world because being honest is vulnerable and
risks getting hurt. But this armor we wear makes those lies more believable not
only to the onlookers but to us. We start to believe we aren’t worthy and we
aren’t enough. And so, we put on another layer of armor to protect our hearts.
And after a while, some of us get very good at the cover-up. And then, a new lie materializes as the world
tells us we are amazing and we don’t have to prove ourselves. But, that isn’t
the complete truth either. Whichever lie we believe, that “you aren’t enough”
or that “you are the greatest thing this world needs,” we miss out on the grace God freely, abundantly
gives to accept our failings. We don’t have to hide them, we don’t have to
creatively explain them. Ephesians 1:7 says “In Him we have redemption through
his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s
grace that He lavished on us.” (NIV)
We turn our backs
to that truth and believe the lie that if He knew us He wouldn’t give the gift.
But, that is just it…He does know us
and He already gave it! He chose to give us the gift not because of our
perfection but because of His, because of Jesus’ perfect work on the cross
declaring “it is finished”. Redemption is the act of clearing a debt. See? He
already knows your sin exists. He knows what will happen tomorrow and He has
already cancelled that debt too. Before we were selfish, judgemental,
controlling, liars, indulgers, He died for us! We put a lot of effort into what
people see, into “being good”, loving people well, showing patience, loving
sacrificially. We should, but we should do those things in complete freedom to
fail. We should do those things because Christ did it for us and His grace and
love is so life-giving it pours out of us!
King David writes
in Psalm 23 “You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies; you
anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.” David, who was an adulterer and murderer,
who ignored God’s laws for years and chose His own way, saw at the end of his
life the majesty and beauty of God’s power and forgiveness. God richly blessed
David, His favor rested on Him despite his lies, despite his taking control,
despite his lust. David’s cup overflowed not because he won wars, had rooms
full of gold, people under him to rule or beautiful places to live. His cup
overflowed because in the midst of his enemies and his own sin God rescued him.
This is redemption, “For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ
died for the ungodly…God shows his love for us in that while we were still
sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:6,8 ESV).
This is perhaps the
hardest gospel truth to believe and yet it is the most important, the most
critical to our faith. We hear it and long for it to be true but Satan whispers
that it is true for everyone but us. We think we are below it, lacking too much
to ever reach His love. Sometimes what we believe in church or bible study or at
our friend’s kitchen table we forget alone in our bedroom. The chaos of our
house, the whining of our children, the urgency of work all vie for our
attention. Satan uses these things to berate us with the lies that we can’t
measure up, we can’t control, and we can’t perform. He distracts us from the
beauty of the Gospel, from the reality of redemption by speaking truth. Satan
is right! We cannot gain control of our emotions or our children, we cannot
perform at work, home and family. Just
as all good liars do, He makes it sound so right. He says just enough to hook
us and then stops before hope of being rescued is revealed. Just as he did in
the garden of Eden he whispers “Did God really say…” (Genesis 3:1 NIV). He
questions us, confuses us and argues against us until we are confused. But the
Gospel offers hope and in the daily routines and relationships of our lives. It
redeems our thoughts and our fears. It brings life where we should have death.
Redemption is victory over a hopeless situation. Without Jesus the hope is that
we can muster the patience, courage or strength to not give up, that we can
work hard enough and long enough to prove we are loveable, special, worthy.
If we were worthy
God’s grace wouldn’t be lavish. If we earned it forgiveness wouldn’t come from
His riches, redemption wouldn’t come from sacrifice. Have you ever had anyone
lavish something on you? Maybe there is a specific birthday you remember, or
your engagement or a friend who cheered you up from something with all your
favorite things. My best friend once went to dinner with her husband and
couldn’t decide which entrée she wanted so he ordered both! I have been to
dinner with this same couple and they ordered every dessert on the menu. It was
extravagant and celebratory! This is how God loves us…lavishly, extravagantly,
abundantly. He doesn’t hold back. He doesn’t give you forgiveness in doses as
you need it, because, you need it lavishly all the time!
He doesn’t require
you come running to Him begging for it. He “is able to bless you abundantly, so
that in all things at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in
every good work” (2 Corinthians 9:8 NIV). You don’t have to do good on your own
strength. You do not have to perfectly and intentionally love your children at
every waking moment, you do not have to serve your husband with kindness every
time he gets off work, you do not have to control your anger or resentment over
that lost promotion or grieve without hope over your lost child or failed
marriage. The ability to do any of that doesn’t come from your nature it comes
from His!
He desires our
childlike faith to come running up to His wide open arms knowing just as my
children know that I will always forgive them. They can hit me, scream at me,
fight me and complain over everything I tell them to do, and although I will be
heartbroken, I will never turn my back on them because they are mine. “…you are
His people, His treasured possession” (Deuteronomy 26:18 NIV). Something He
desires, He loves, and someone He will fight to be with. He will forgive your
silent judgement, your secret cravings, your performance, your mask of
perfection, your struggle for control when you confess your failures. Not when
you change your ways, not when you prove you are sorry, but when you run to Him
alone. For grace is free, unearned blessing and “…if by grace, then it cannot
be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace” (Romans 11:2,5).
So run to the
Father who created you. He didn’t rescue you because you were so creative,
beautiful, efficient and patient that He couldn’t stand to be without you. He
came and got you back from Satan because His love is abundant. So ask for His forgiveness,
knowing that when you do you are worshipping God for His lavish love that you
didn’t earn but have already been given!
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